Hmm, that doesn’t look right

I am 10dpo today. Or maybe 8. Let me explain.

At the start of this cycle we started seeing an RE. We did a baseline ultrasound on day 5, which just so happened to be the day of our first appointment. 2 days later I went back to do a SIS, where all checked out fine. Then she told me to come back on day 12 so she could monitor how my follicles were growing. Now, I’m a total nerd, so this was very exciting to me. I chart because the graphs make me happy (data!) and here was a doctor telling me I would get to watch my ovaries GROW EGGS.

A sidenote: I’ve been charting since September 2011. I am regular. I ovulate, on average, on day 16. Sometimes it’s 14, a couple months it was 19, but mostly day 16. I have a 13 day luteal phase. My OPK turns positive 1-2 days before I my temperature shifts. Did I mention I like data?

So when the doctor told me to start with the OPKs on day 10 I was like, yeah, yeah, sure. Still, I listened. Day 10 was negative. No surprise. Day 11 was positive. I barely glanced at it before I went to throw it in the trash. I am never positive that early! I actually took a picture of it, I was so surprised (proof!). The next day I went in for my ultra sound, told the doc about my positive and excitedly waited for her to find the goods. Except she didn’t. And she looked for a good long while. What she found was a 12mm follicle on my right with a few smaller ones, a hand full of smaller ones on the left and what looked like a corpus luteum, though it was possible it was from last cycle. She sent me off to get my blood drawn and told me to come back in 2 days.

When I went back she told me my blood work was inconclusive. My LH didn’t seem to be surging, my estrogen was only 79 and my progesterone was 1.9. My ultrasound that day was also inconclusive. If anything, the larger follicle from two days prior had gotten smaller. I think her exact words were, “hm, that doesn’t look right”. There was still what could, maybe, be a corpus luteum. She told me to come back in 3 days and sent me off to draw more blood.

Three days later the verdict was, I had, indeed ovulated. Either on day 11 or day 13. Still, my estrogen was low and the ultrasounds were wacky so it was probably not a very good ovulation. She told me to call in a week when my period started and we could discuss fertility drugs for the next cycle.

I was crushed. I think I kept hoping that I would go in for my ultrasound and the doctor would be blown away by how normal and regular and awesome my ovaries were. I don’t know. It’s not rational, of course. It’s been over a year. Still, it’s hard to not hope.

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