Two of my best friends are currently pregnant and due within two weeks of each other. Since one lives in Germany, this weekend was the first time we’ve all been together since they got pregnant. Spending time with just the two of them was…interesting. I wasn’t sure at first if I was up to it and, in fact, had actually avoided making plans that involved just the three of us until the very last moment. It was mostly ok. Only a few heart stabbing moments when they compared bumps or shared symptoms with nods and sympathetic “I know what you means” while I sat there in silence.
On Sunday I threw one of the ladies (the one visiting from Germany) her baby shower. This is her first baby, and it was hard won. I am so very happy for her, and yet, I went home, after, and sobbed on my bed. Will I ever have a baby shower? I just don’t know.