Over the last few days, in another online community I’m a part of, there’s been a lot of conversation over this statement:
I don’t have to have gone through something to make a decision on how to approach it.
I’m bringing it up because it was made specifically in terms of infertility and pursuing fertility treatments, and it was made by a woman who is 4 or 5 months pregnant. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I don’t like to pass judgement on other people’s choices. I think individuals know what’s best for themselves and their own situations. But there’s a part of me that is deeply offended that someone who has never walked the road of infertility feels the need to say, ‘I would not pursue fertility treatments if I found out I was infertile’, as if she understands even an iota of what it means to make these decisions. As if the decision is an easy one. As if the decision doesn’t come wrapped with disappointment and heartbreak and so, so much anger. I actually tried to engage her in a conversation, but was shot down. I wonder, sometimes, why it’s so hard for people on the other side to consider how hard this path is for those of us on it. I constantly wonder if I’m being over sensitive. But then, as in this case, I remember that this is the same woman who said, a couple of months ago on twitter, that she wouldn’t be sad if she had a miscarriage cause she didn’t think it was a big deal. So.