Thank you everyone for your good thoughts. It seems the universe was listening. We have 3 blasts in the freezer. No grading yet but our coordinator (who is back! Yay!) assured me that to make it that far they have to be good. We should have grades later today. The plan is to call with my next period and start the FET right away. And because we never finished the full IVF cycle the FET is covered by our insurance! Talk about a Merry Christmas!
Sidenote 1: the coordinator we’ve been dealing with is a fill-in. Ours has been on vacation since the day before our egg retrieval.
This might be jumbled, bear with me.
So yesterday I called my clinic to ask for an update since I hadn’t heard a peep from them since Sunday. I am told that there is no new information. That they won’t know anything till tomorrow and that I should not worry, but I’m told it in such a way that she is basically blowing me off. I get that I’m not this person’s full time patient, but the conversation leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Sidenote 2: I’m so sick and tired of health care professionals making me feel like I’m a crazy for wanting to understand what is going on with my health. For not just wanting to understand but wanting details. I may not be a doctor but I’m not stupid and I can do without the head patting condescension. And yes, it’s possible I’m projecting and whatever. This is shit is hard.
So I finally got a call near the end of the day today. It was the longest day. I’m told that they are waiting one more day to freeze and that my coordinator will be back tomorrow to answer any questions. She doesn’t ask me if I have any questions. She doesn’t offer any details. I finally ask her why they are waiting and she says, oh, they just do sometimes. I then ask her how many are left alive. She says 2, reminds me my real coordinator will call me tomorrow. I can tell by this time that she just wants to get off the phone so I hang up with her.
I’m gutted. This is all the treatment our insurance will cover.
After going back and forth with the husband via text I decide to call her back to see if I can get any more info. Most importantly, I want to know why, if they only have 2, they are not going to freeze today. When I’m connected with her office she immediately puts me on hold and transfers me to the embryologist. Fine by me.
The embryologist is immediately reassuring. She asks me what i know (basically nothing). She asks, but didn’t anyone call you on Day 3? (Um, no). She then goes over everything, in detail, from the beginning. Before I got off the phone with her she told me she had done IVF too, which explains why she was so awesome.
So this is where we stand. On Sunday we had 13 fertilized eggs. We lost 4 by day 3 but the 9 left “looked great” and were 6, 7 or 8 celled. A few had fragmentation, but overall it looked good. She then explained to me that after day 3 the paternal DNA starts expressing itself and we tend to see some drop off from there. Low morphology has been our only diagnosis through this whole thing (that’s why we did ICSI). All were dividing happily on day 4 but when she checked them today none had made it to blast yet. She said of the 9 left, 4 look good and 5 are a little behind. She is hopeful that we will have at least 2 to freeze tomorrow, but (obviously) she can’t guarantee me anything. Our clinic will only freeze blasts.
If you’ve read this far, thank you. I’m not a religious person, but if you could send good thoughts our way I would appreciate it. And if you have any positive stories of slacker morulas that went on to make beautiful blastocysts, that would be great too.
I guess since we are not doing a transfer this month the clinic’s policy is to leave the embryos in incubation and not check on them till day 4 or 5. This means that I have been climbing up the walls going crazy and trying not to play out worst case scenarios in my head (impossible). Ugh.
Got a call from our clinic yesterday morning letting us know that of the 25 eggs retrieved, 15 were mature. I’m not going to lie, my heart dropped a little at that number. I think it’d be different if we were doing a transfer this week instead of waiting out the 5 or 6 days for freeze. They ICSI-ed the 15 mature follicles and mixed the 10 immature follicles with sperm to try to fertilize naturally. Of the 15 mature follicles, 12 fertilized. Our coordinator said they are still ‘keeping an eye on’ the other 3. Of the 10 immature follicles, 1 fertilized naturally. So now we have 13. My clinic doesn’t give day 2 reports so our next update will be tomorrow morning. Trying not to obsessively Goo.gle in the meantime.
Egg retrieval was bright and early this morning. Because it was a Saturday the clinic was pretty quiet. We got there at 7:30 on the dot, got my blood work done and talked things over with one of the IVF coordinators (ours is on vacation). Before I knew it we were in a our own little cubby where I got to change into a fashionable outfit of blue booties, hair net and hospital gown. The husband went off to do his bit and the anesthesiologist came in to get my IV started. At 8:30 they walked me into the OR and got me situated on the table. The last thing I remember is telling everyone is ‘These stirrups are legit!’.
The next thing I knew I was waking up in our recovery room. I feel ok. I had mild cramping but they gave me tylenol and a heating pad and so far, that seems to have done the trick. I’ve been napping on and off since. Fingers crossed I don’t get OHSS. The doctor has me taking 1/2 doses of cetrotide for the next 4 days as a precaution.
And in case you’re wondering (I’m such a tease!) they got 25 eggs. Holy shit balls right? Fingers crossed our one day babies are in that bunch. First fertilization report is tomorrow morning.
My heart is so sad this morning. All those children. I just don’t understand.
p.s. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement on my update yesterday. You all have been my rock through this process. xoxo
Just got the call from the lab and my progesterone is too high at 2.16. So now the plan is to do the retrieval as planned, freeze on day 5 and prep for a FET next month. I’m so disappointed. I’ve done a pretty good job managing my stress and dealing with this cycle because the light at the end of the tunnel was there. The thought of dragging it out for another month just makes me sad and tired. And of course now I’m scared that nothing will make it to freeze.