I was at a party, last night, and one of the guests was going around telling everyone that she was 9 weeks pregnant. Happened on the first try! It made me jealous and sad. It’s ridiculous. You would think that that sort of news wouldn’t bother me so much, anymore. Her fertility has nothing to do with me. And yet. Does it ever go away, I wonder?

21 weeks, this week. Everything is looking good. We’ve started researching birthing plans and will tour our birthing center next week. We have a list of day cares to interview. Sometimes I am still surprised that this is actually happening.


Went to lunch with a friend the other week and she told me she was planning on getting pregnant next year. She’ll be 38 in November, but she told me she’s not too worried because “women get pregnant in their 40s all the time”. 

Another friend, who is getting married next month, told me she is waiting till next summer to try because she and another friend “want to have babies at the same time”. Said friend has PCOS, but she “doesn’t think it will be a big deal”.

I didn’t say anything in either situation, of course. Maybe everything will work out as planned for them. Who am I to kill that optimism, right? As if either would listen anyway. Still, it made me a little sad for the girl I used to be, two years ago, before all this infertility stuff. That was me. Making plans. Sure. You never think the bad stuff is going to happen to you.

16 weeks tomorrow. I thought I was past morning sickness but it’s came back to say hello this week. Other than that I’ve been feeling great. My body hasn’t changed all that much yet. I’m still in the bump or too many burritos phase. (Most of the time it’s burritos). 

Today is my birthday (36! eep!). It’s also week 14. Last week I got the best possible early birthday present ever. Our genetic screen came back completely normal. We also learned we’re having a boy! This after the ultrasound tech told us he was almost positive it was a girl. Ah well, healthy is all we wanted.

Morning sickness has finally started to wane. I can actually look at food again! I still mostly just want to eat cherries and watermelon and drink lemonade, but that’s how I usually feel in June anyway.

We told our families and friends last week. It was…strange? I despise being the center of attention (no Facebook announcements for me). And I never know what to say to the folks asking IF I’M EXCITED?!? (Which, of course, we are, among a million other things). Or the dreadful WAS IT PLANNED. Oh, if they only knew.

Sorry for the silence. Want to know a secret? I’ve barely thought about baby making this last month and a half. When we found out we wouldn’t be able to do our FET until late Feb/ early March, I sort of pushed it all to the back of my brain. It’s been nice. 2012 was a hard year, the hardest year, really. It felt good to welcome 2013 with some calm. I’m hoping it stays with me.  I started birth control on Monday. I got my FET calendar yesterday. If all goes according to plan, we will transfer on Mar. 19.